In my first ever post I mentioned that fact that I had verged on Post Natal Depression. That was the first that a lot of my friends and family knew about it, and for that I want to say sorry. I didn't really want to talk about things much (I know, unusual for me)!! I felt that if I admitted it, if i said it out loud then that would be admitting failure. I felt the most immense guilt at the fact that I was struggling, I mean I have desperately wanted children for as long as I can remember, so I was obviously failing at being a good mum because I was struggling, right??
How wrong I was. Looking back now I know that and understand how I came to get so low so here are my tips;
Do Not: Undertake major construction work on your home during pregnancy (particularly in the last trimester)
Do Not: After being admitted to hospital after suffering from a suspected stroke (see previous post), try to continue like nothing has happened. It was obviously a warning that I was running on empty.
Do: Talk, Talk, Talk. Admit how you are feeling, to your Dr, Health visitor, Partner, mum, family, friends: anyone that you feel comfortable talking to. Saying it out loud helps you to realise what is realistic and what isn't.
Do: Trust your instinct. I will go into this more at a later date but Jack was very poorly and I let a Dr's opinion (although I knew it was wrong) affect the way I made decisions and knocked my confidence in my ability to do the best for my children.
And a few, here's to you's..... I want to say thank you to all of the people that kept me from going under, from completely losing the plot and feeling like a complete failure.
To You: The man who stands by my side, for better or worse. You are the best Daddy and Husband that a family could wish for. I know that if you had not been by my side for the last 6 months then I would not be feeling as fantastic as I am today- Thank You
To You- The little boys who have the brightest eyes, the cheekiest smiles and the most beautiful hearts. You make my life everything I've ever dreamed of- Thank You
To You: The person who was at the end of a phone, night and day. Who cooked for us and cleaned for us. Was by my side for most of my lowest moments and has loved me unconditionally for the last 31 years- Thank You
To You- The 3 who looked after the boys in the run up to Christmas so I could catch up with everything needed for the boys to have a fab time, who came with me to the Dr's to fight for help for Jack when I felt I was losing the fight.- Thank You
To You- Who helped ease the financial burden of complications caused by the construction work.- Thank You
To You- Who did all of my Christmas food shopping the week before Xmas when Jack was in hospital and we didn't know if he would be out in time for us to have a christmas. For running here there and everywhere to help look after the other boys- Thank You
To You- my Plymouth friend that sent me the pink card with a poodle on, you literally made so much difference in 2 sentences- Thank You
To all of you: that have helped clean, paint and decorate and get our house straight after all of the work had been done, so that we could have a peaceful family home again, who have looked after the boys or even offered to- Thank You
To You: who picked the boys up from my house and took them to school and the same the other way round at the end of the day. Who was always there at the end of the phone/text/whatsapp/fb/twitter-Thank you
And Lastly: To anyone who said I was doing a good job, who asked how I was, who realised that something wasn't 100% and cared- Thank You
I am truly blessed to have you all in mine and my family's lives. If you feel that I have missed you out in this post then you are wrong, I know what you have all done for me and I will never forget it.
If you see that someone is struggling, are concerned that someone isn't their usual self or think that something may be up Please do not ignore them or judge. offer a helping hand, an ear or even a cake! You will never know how much of a difference you could make!!!
Showing posts with label Stroke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stroke. Show all posts
Wednesday, 13 February 2013
Sunday, 10 February 2013
38 Weeks Pregnant, They Thought I'd Had A Stroke!!
So, my 3rd pregnancy was a bit of a surprise. Sonny was only 7 months old and although we were trying to decide whether to have a 4th child some time in the future it seemed that the decision had already been made! It took me almost a month to come to terms with the fact that i was pregnant again for the 3rd time in 4 years and that in less than a year we would be parents to 4 children aged 5 and under.
Fast forward to 38 weeks of a very straightforward pregnancy and a Sunday morning. I woke up feeling fabulous and full of energy and started on a mission to cook lots of meals to freeze ready for Leigh's paternity leave period.
I needed to go to the supermarket for a few supplies and got ready to leave when i started to feel unwell, my left eye couldn't focus and i could feel the start of a headache so Leigh offered to go to the supermarket. Once Leigh had gone i started to feel a lot worse and knew that something wasn't quite right. I got pins and needles in my face and a numbness of my hands and fingers, all of which was only of the left side of my body. I felt very unwell and began to panic so i called my mum and she told me to call Leigh and tell him to come home. Leigh arrived home and i tried to explain to him what had been happening and he had a very confused look on his face. Leigh was insistent on dialling 999 and i couldn't understand why but to be honest i wasn't really aware of what was going on at this point. I would later learn that my speech was very slurred, although i wasn't aware of it at the time. An ambulance arrived at the same time as the emergency paramedic vehicle, so i had 2 paramedics dealing with me whilst the 3rd helped Leigh get our other boys into the dining room and away from the situation. I had to do a lot of exercises like touching my own nose and following finger movements with my eyes and these were repeated numerous times over the next few days. I had my blood pressure taken and when it was through the roof the decision was taken to get me into hospital. I spent the next few hours with various Dr's, neurological and obstetric and at around 2pm i started having labour pains. I was sent for a CT scan (hilarious having contractions in a lift full of people and then whilst having to lay still under the CT Scanner) but thankfully the scan came back clear. I was then admitted to the maternity ward where it seemed that the baby may be on his way. 9 hours later when the pains were no closer together and only marginally stronger i convinced my mum and Leigh that they should go home, they would need some sleep should things progress and that the boys would need to see their daddy having watched mummy being taken away in an ambulance. Once they had gone home the Dr decided that we needed to see if i was going to be having a baby anytime soon, and found that i wasn't dilated at all. I decided to take some painkillers and try to get some sleep. I woke the next morning and everything had stopped although i had convinced myself that after 12 hours of pains that the baby wouldn't stay where he was for more than another few days (little did i know that he wouldn't make his grand entrance for almost another 4 weeks).
I was discharged the following morning to the care of the Stroke Team at the hospital as an outpatient. I have to say that the care i received was amazing, even if i did hold the Dr that told me i wasn't in labour personally responsible haha...
The stroke team arranged an MRI scan of my brain and thankfully they found one! but on a serious note they didn't find any bleeding or signs of abnormality. The Dr decided that i was possibly suffering from a type of migraine that mimics the symptoms of a stroke and that although very scary didn't cause any lasting damage. I have had a few episodes since but painkillers, a lay down and sometimes sleep help the symptoms ease quickly. I think its very important to recognise the signs of a stroke using the F.A.S.T rule:
FACIAL weakness: Can the person smile? Has their mouth or eye drooped?
ARM weakness: Can the person raise both arms?
SPEECH problems: Can the person speak clearly and understand what you say?
TIME to call 999.
for further info see http://www.stroke.org.uk/
Fast forward to 38 weeks of a very straightforward pregnancy and a Sunday morning. I woke up feeling fabulous and full of energy and started on a mission to cook lots of meals to freeze ready for Leigh's paternity leave period.
I needed to go to the supermarket for a few supplies and got ready to leave when i started to feel unwell, my left eye couldn't focus and i could feel the start of a headache so Leigh offered to go to the supermarket. Once Leigh had gone i started to feel a lot worse and knew that something wasn't quite right. I got pins and needles in my face and a numbness of my hands and fingers, all of which was only of the left side of my body. I felt very unwell and began to panic so i called my mum and she told me to call Leigh and tell him to come home. Leigh arrived home and i tried to explain to him what had been happening and he had a very confused look on his face. Leigh was insistent on dialling 999 and i couldn't understand why but to be honest i wasn't really aware of what was going on at this point. I would later learn that my speech was very slurred, although i wasn't aware of it at the time. An ambulance arrived at the same time as the emergency paramedic vehicle, so i had 2 paramedics dealing with me whilst the 3rd helped Leigh get our other boys into the dining room and away from the situation. I had to do a lot of exercises like touching my own nose and following finger movements with my eyes and these were repeated numerous times over the next few days. I had my blood pressure taken and when it was through the roof the decision was taken to get me into hospital. I spent the next few hours with various Dr's, neurological and obstetric and at around 2pm i started having labour pains. I was sent for a CT scan (hilarious having contractions in a lift full of people and then whilst having to lay still under the CT Scanner) but thankfully the scan came back clear. I was then admitted to the maternity ward where it seemed that the baby may be on his way. 9 hours later when the pains were no closer together and only marginally stronger i convinced my mum and Leigh that they should go home, they would need some sleep should things progress and that the boys would need to see their daddy having watched mummy being taken away in an ambulance. Once they had gone home the Dr decided that we needed to see if i was going to be having a baby anytime soon, and found that i wasn't dilated at all. I decided to take some painkillers and try to get some sleep. I woke the next morning and everything had stopped although i had convinced myself that after 12 hours of pains that the baby wouldn't stay where he was for more than another few days (little did i know that he wouldn't make his grand entrance for almost another 4 weeks).
I was discharged the following morning to the care of the Stroke Team at the hospital as an outpatient. I have to say that the care i received was amazing, even if i did hold the Dr that told me i wasn't in labour personally responsible haha...
The stroke team arranged an MRI scan of my brain and thankfully they found one! but on a serious note they didn't find any bleeding or signs of abnormality. The Dr decided that i was possibly suffering from a type of migraine that mimics the symptoms of a stroke and that although very scary didn't cause any lasting damage. I have had a few episodes since but painkillers, a lay down and sometimes sleep help the symptoms ease quickly. I think its very important to recognise the signs of a stroke using the F.A.S.T rule:
FACIAL weakness: Can the person smile? Has their mouth or eye drooped?
ARM weakness: Can the person raise both arms?
SPEECH problems: Can the person speak clearly and understand what you say?
TIME to call 999.
for further info see http://www.stroke.org.uk/
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